I don’t want to make it seem I pray all the time. My prayer times are mainly grounded on my feelings of either hopelessness or when I’m in pain or what not. I do try and maintain a constant conversation with Him through prayer.
But anyway, the times I choose to pray and devote myself to God, He reveals a lot of wonders. Especially now that it gets lonely and hard to be in a different country. It does have its rewards but as you know with life, it has ebbs and flows.
God is so good to us, He gives us what we need before we even ask for it.* I constantly worry about the kids and the laundry and what snack to give them or about how they are feeling being away from home and will they be able to have real relationships in school, and most of all, will I be able to nurture them to have a positive experience while we’re here. From the mundane to the most material of human aspects, this is what mothers need to worry about their children.
But worries is like a black cloud constantly blocking our sun that we don’t get to shine.
Our insecurities get the best of us and the only way to be out of it is the to be firm in the knowledge that God will provide for us because He loves us. That we walk with Him in every single moment. He has a plan so we can grow in His love and spirit.
Our relationship with Him will also allow us to know our mission in life. Basically, everyone is not called to be influencers or be multi-hyphenated. Some are just moms juggling taking care of 2 kids in another country of another language.
I am a firm believer of the fact that not everyone need to be world-famous or own start-ups or make ridiculous amounts of money. Life’s struggles are in the tedious everyday things: It’s clocking in for work. It’s not making your kids repeat their socks 3 days in a row or showing interest in the show they’re watching for the 1097th time. It’s checking in if there is enough rice stock for the week. It’s showing up for a Sunday meet-up no matter how hot it is outside or worn out you are. It is saying “Hi!” to your neighbours and checking in on your friends even just online. Sometimes if you don’t feel like it, say a prayer while at it. The more boring it is, the greater prayer you may offer for it. I think St. Josemaria Escriva said it best, “Great holiness consists in carrying out the little duties of each moment.“
For now I think, for me, it is to take care of my family. To take care of my kids day in and day out. To teach them and spend time with them more than I could ever have than back home. And also take care of Kevin and not nag him so much. LOL.
*Like, I kid you not, we’re so short in cash we only had ¥2,000 in our bank account and we have 2 weeks till Kevin’s allowance comes in. Somehow, OUT OF THE BLUE, there was ¥100,000 child subsidy from the Japan government. WTH, right? Whut??? We didn’t even know we can get that. It’s so darn silly we are not even Japanese.
**Also, when Kevin went hiking in Mt. Fuji and I was left to take care of the kids. I was in deep frenzy because taking care of 2 kids is really a chore, let alone be left with them for a whole weekend by myself. But somehow, God didn’t leave us by ourselves. He sent us angel moms and their kids (who I’ve never met at all) who hanged out with us till night time. I basically had to drag the kids home.
***Also also, my sister applied again for visiting relative visa (2nd time) so I was a wee bit hesitant she’ll be granted coz honestly, guys, my family just visited here 3 weeks ago. But right now, I am busy listing down stuff for her to bring to us.
God is so great more than we could ever comprehend. If we would just allow Him to work in our lives and have continuous dialogue , I’ll bet each of us would be drowning in awe and would be just in constant tears being overwhelmed by Him. So so so many things to be grateful for.